MISUNDERSTOOD

I feel so disconnected from life, from well, everything.....it is so difficult for me to say and admit this when I have been on the verge of suicide in the past.  Reaching that bottom at any time in life is devastating and it never leaves you! You can not forget the day you plead with that higher entity to show you that you are worth living and that there is a purpose to you existing, even if you don't have a clue what that purpose is just yet.

I am not suicidal, so feeling this way is confusing  and overwhelming.....I don't feel depressed, which is a positive but why then can't I relate and connect with others and feel like they get me, that without question can know my thought process and almost predict my emotional response to any given life situation?  I am certainly asking far too much and holding them to unachievable expectations, the result is that every conceivable connection is broken or weakened before I even engage in a conversation.  Since I am aware and certainly have the wisdom to recognize the problem why do I keep this boundary or invisible shield around myself and not allow others a chance to really see me without that shield? If they can't get a first glimpse into my inner being, any future interactions can be superficial and without any depth.  This repeated behavior ultimately blocks any purpose driven physical and/or emotional responses toward you in all situations.

How do I stop this corrosive self destruction?  I have such low self esteem and self worth that its difficult to put myself out there to begin with, although through online social gatherings like facebook, it is easier to take a chance with less risk of being hurt.  Speaking of being hurt, I honestly believe it is my initial and most underlying deficit followed by the fear of trusting the unknown! I guess that it is pretty normal to have some reservations in forming relationships but without love, faith and trust you have nothing to build upon that is sturdy enough to withstand the storms of life!

Talking with a dear friend, sister in Christ's love, I realized that I don't trust myself to form these relationships because I have screwed up so often in my past.  It is so difficult hearing these words and typing them, I am to blame for this disconnection and aloneness I feel and honestly have become quite comfortable; not taking a risk on others is my way of protecting myself against making bad decisions and maintaining a status quo or harmony within, remaining safe at all times.

In my past, defense mechanisms were my saving Grace, assisting me to remain protected from those who may hurt me, so falling back on that should not be surprising.  I am a different person in so many ways and don't want to miss things especially when they can encourage or motivate me to grow in my Faith or in relationships.  I don't want to be stuck......who would?  I still have an innate need to be better, to learn things, adapt to my existing and ever changing environment through knowledge and ability, to be touched intimately and be accepted for who I am now, not rejected for not being the old me!!  

The truth is I just need to be understood and loved unconditionally!  I fear being hurt so extensively by others, that I am literally paralyzed socially.  I know I am the only one who can change the recurrent disconnect but it can't change the fact that all my life I have been hurt, rejected, made fun of, exploited, and treated differently because of physical attributes and later in life due to a disability; low self esteem and self worth was the result and started initially by mean kids, not just girls! I deserve respect but never ever had any inkling to get revenge! Not all socially inept individuals are capable of retaliating or want to if they could........so please stop judging, instead smile, say hi, offer your friendship, stand up for someone being persecuted, and stop the discrimination and bullying in every stage of life and age......it happens everywhere!!!! 

Although my true life story continues moving forward each and every day, my thoughts and prayers tend to gravitate, mainly focusing on those who are like myself, in similar situations, who just really need to be excepted socially by someone who can change their self image positively forever!

36 Verses to Healing #17

36 Verses to Healing #17: Matthew 9:29 (+27,28) NKJV

27 When Jesus departed from there,  two blind men followed Him, crying out and saying,  “Son of David, have mercy on us!” 28 And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them,  “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” They said to Him, “Yes, Lord.” 29 Then He touched their eyes, saying,  “According to your faith let it be to you.” 

I know I have discussed being human, but there are days I almost wish I was anything but human.....feeling pain gets old quickly but without sleep it is unbelievably frustrating and overwhelming. This made me wonder if Jesus ever felt this way? Did He ever not enjoy the limitations of being human? In the end, we know that He cried out to His Father but knew His will would be done.  Do you think that cry was for our benefit? That when we are in pain and at a breaking point we know we can trust Him because He too suffered and was human? I do believe that although He was the son of God, Jesus experienced many trials according to the plan God had imposed.  There are no coincidences in our life nor do I feel in Jesus' as well, so it must mean that it was to set forth examples of what to do.  With that in mind, we have our healing verse.......

Two blind men were following Jesus, okay I admit it, I giggled........it just does not seem likely that two blind men could follow Jesus in that time period very easily, the image just did not register until I realized that I was the one blind!  I believe that image of the blind men represented trials we face and that when we continue and move forward despite the obstacles we just might achieve great success or reward for pushing through.  Those men did not give up or lay helpless on the path Jesus was on, they followed Him, they never gave up knowing and believing in Him.  They were rewarded with sight because of their belief.  

How often are we faced with challenges where it appears the journey will never reach the end, and the obstacles get bigger, harder, and less attainable?  Do you hold steadfast to your faith and believe at all times and at all cost that He will provide and see you through? If you said yes, you are certainly dedicated and trusting of your Lord.  When you put your best foot forward, try with all your might, and never give up until you reach your goal or find a new path, do you agree it impacts your 'being' more then if you did not try and took little or no effort? Having worked hard makes one appreciate things and offers us a feeling of being blessed.  So often in life we take so much for granted, like our sight or ability to do things with all our limbs, fingers and toes. I admit that I did not appreciate how good I had things and how blessed I truly was, all I did was get emotional each month that I was not pregnant, and gripe each day how I was treated by others at work. I was not thankful enough for having a good paying job that allowed us to buy a home, I never felt enough gratitude for my hubby, I would be angry at everything and anything related to other people's 
babies and rarely did I praise Him!  I am ashamed that it took a disability to wake me up and allow me to change my ways.  I learned to appreciate so many of my blessings in life and be truly thankful and praise Him for His mercy.  I may suffer each day in pain but I have such amazing faith that with Him and through Him all will be ok when it's time!

As was stated in our verse, " Then He touched their eyes, saying,  “According to your faith let it be to you" (Matthew 9:29),  in Christ, by the GRACE of God, our burdens are lifted and we shall not want or need for anything! He gives according to our faith, it does not matter if we are rich or poor, man or woman, King or carpenter, He will offer us to the extent in which we believe.......so where shall our focus be in life and during this healing journey? My fellow Alien Readers I write this blog to give you the opportunity to grow and learn, to offer you all my weaknesses and failures in order to show I am one of you, growing and learning in my faith as well as learning about yours.......let us all remember His mercy is with us all the days of our lives and can offer us healing....Lord, help us in supporting each other, to rely on our faith and believe in You no matter the circumstances that our journey leads us, Amen! Praise the Lord! 

36 Verses to Healing #16

Verse #16: Psalms 6:2 

2 Have mercy on me, O  Lord ,  for I  am  weak; O  Lord , heal me,  for my bones are troubled. 

I came across a book tonight that my grandmother had about friendship and the page I opened to made me think of my followers of this blog, for it is titled "Friendship in Progress": Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other (Proverbs 27:17 CEV). It goes on to explain how friends challenge each other to reach their full potential that God has set in motion.  Like we are all doing here, gathering to learn, share, teach, love.....which will eventually, hopefully, sharpen our minds, but it will only occur if we all put in the effort to honestly share our hopes, dreams, desires, abilities and our spirituality throughout this growing in faith.  It will not be easy, it will take emmense courage to honestly communicate with each other, to trust that those who are here are all here for the same purpose, to learn about how God can heal us and make us feel whole again!

I participated in a Bible Study just on Psalms, it was the most informative, thorough, and difficult but enjoyable learning experience. We even wrote and shared our own self written Psalm.......using the format we learned about that all Psalms of lament follow.  Here is an excerpt from reformed worship.org 
that explained the layout of Psalms of Lament:

STRUCTURE OF A LAMENT

Address. A biblical lament cries out to God. This is not an internally focused process of grieving, it is first and foremost a prayer, a conversation. When we further consider the God to whom we cry, this aspect of a lament psalm, brief as it may be (“My God, my God”; Ps. 22) takes on even greater significance. We cry to an omnipotent God, a good and merciful God, a just God, a God who grants us access to himself and invites us into personal relationship with him.

Complaint. A lament honestly and specifically names a situation or circumstance that is painful, wrong, or unjust—in other words, a circumstance that does not align with God’s character and therefore does not make sense within God’s kingdom. The emotional tone of the complaint varies, depending on the type of lament psalm. It may express sorrow, remorse, weariness, anger, disappointment, or doubt.
Request. A lament expects a response or an answer. It expects that God will be able to do something about the situation. Most often the request sounds like a demand: it is the psalmist’s essential heart-rending cry, “God, do something!”
Expression of trust. A lament generally includes an explicit expression of trust, sometimes woven through the complaint and request, and other times concluding the psalm with an almost jarring note of praise. Some expressions of trust are such a startling departure from the rest of the psalm (“I am in the midst of lions; I lie among ravenous beasts—men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth,” Ps. 57:4-5) that they seem to sharply divide the psalm into two parts: lament and praise. But to understand biblical lament properly, we must acknowledge that the expression of trust, with all its praise and joy, is part of a psalm of lament.
Biblical lament, then, is an honest cry to a God who is powerful, good, and just
a cry that this situation is not in alignment with God’s person or purposes. It’s a cry that expects an answer from God, and therefore results in hope, trust, and joy rather than despair.
This understanding of lament makes it much easier for us to apply the psalms of lament to our own lives and to the life of our congregation. Indeed, we begin to see that biblical lament is necessary in a world that does not always operate according to God’s purposes.

In utilizing the above structure we can see that our verse cries out an address, "Have mercy on me, O Lord" then it names the complaint, "for I am weak", followed by a request, "O Lord, heal me", with an ending of trust "For my bones are troubled".  I felt the hardest one to grasp was the "expression of trust", because how is telling The Lord that my bones are troubled (which ironically they are and the reason I am here typing at 2:15am) saying that I trust you?  After re-reading and contemplating this for a bit I came to understand that telling God about my bones being troubled is expressing to Him that I know this state of suffering I am in right now does not fit in the concept of His heavenly world or His plan for me in this life, that I am reaching to Him because I trust that He agrees and will fix or offer me a better understanding of what my life should be focusing on right now.  Does this make any sense? 

How do you call out to your God?  What does it take for you to ask Him for help?  Do you trust Him to answer you and offer a solution? Do you praise Him for all He has offered to you in this world?  Do you doubt His love for you? Do you fear your current situation? Do you allow yourself the ability to heal, grow, change, love, trust, praise, hope, dream, and communicate your feelings to others?  I ask these questions my fellow Alien readers, because we need each other for survival in this life, God chose for our paths to cross for a reason, whether its for this blog or something else yet to come, I believe in Him and trust His choices for my life, so I in turn trust you!!! God Bless

I leave you now with a verse that spoke volumes and gave me so much to contemplate, may it be a blessing and an opportunity for growth for you as well!

Hebrews 3:14
If we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ.

36 Verses to Healing #15: Malachi 4:2

2 But to you who fear My name The  Sun of Righteousness shall arise With healing in His wings; And you shall go out And grow fat like stall-fed calves.

I decided to try something a bit different with this verse because my mind is not focused nor relaxed enough to allow the words of the Holy Spirit to infiltrate and bond with lingering thoughts to create the message for healing. So my fellow readers, this one is yours!  I want your opinion on this verse first, please follow the format below and answer the questions I have created to help organize your thoughts. Once I receive and post a few replies, I will then comment about my initial reaction to your thoughts and provide a summary of my interpretation of the verse.  Please remember, there is no right or wrong answer, it is purely about discovering your own feelings and thoughts on how the verse speaks to you or applies to your life. 

1. Share your first few thoughts, or words, that immediately came to mind while reading this verse.
2. Why do you think this verse was chosen for the healing journey? 
3. How does it relate or apply to your life or personal spiritual growth?
4. What have you learned that you did not know previous to reading this verse? (Can be about the Bible, Jesus, yourself, etc....)
5. Is there anything about it that you did not understand and need/want additional discussion or explanation? (Could be a word, a line, a feeling or theme that leaves you confused or unsure). If so, please provide us with a short description of what and why?
6. Did you read more then just the assigned verse we are discussing? Explain why or why not and what other verses you read or used to help your understanding. Please provide the translation you are using as well!
7. Has this verse changed your beliefs, faith, frame of mind, etc..... If so explain how?
8. How can you incorporate the message from this verse into your daily living?
9. Please add anything I missed that you feel needs attention!
10. Lastly but most importantly, I am asking (begging, with whipped topping, hot fudge and a cherry on top) each of my fellow alien readers to share comments about your personal spiritual growth, health changes (improvements), daily routine improvements that focus on the Lord (prayer, meditation, Bible study, sharing of faith, praising Him...), and any "God/Jesus moments" or miracles that may have occurred during this journey thus far!  

I appreciate your participation and willingness to risk sharing personal self discovery and deep emotional feelings regarding scripture and your faith with me and my followers. I know it is not easy, requires great thought, and can be time consuming, but I promise you that the positives will outweigh any negatives! The greater the effort applied throughout the journey the better the outcome achieved in the end. The only way to grow in faith is to plant the seed, feed and water it continuously with nutrients to survive, provide sunlight and not be afraid of evil destroying you, because he that believes has infinite possibilities available to them! 

36 Verses to Healing #14: Mark 9:23

22 And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 Jesus said to him,  “If  you can believe,  all things  are  possible to him who believes.” 


At first glance, this verse was self explanatory and I wondered what I was going to write about......I am running out of new ways to discuss how healing is achieved as a result of faithfulness and truly believing with all your heart, mind and soul that He can perform miracles in your life!  Then, I read the entire account according to Mark, of the boy who had a mute spirit (described as being possessed by an evil entity) and no one, his father nor the desciples could cure.  I immediately was overcome with several intense reactions that baffled, mortified and completely incapacitated my ability to think!

In order to comprehend why my reaction was so strong I ask that you follow this link:  http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-King-James-Version-NKJV-Bible/ 
and read the story in its entirety (Mark 9:14-29).

Hopefully now we all read Mark's account and have formed opinions and thoughts regarding this amazing lesson Jesus almost demands His disciples and followers to grasp.  When Jesus responds to the boys father saying "O  faithless  generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I  bear with you? Bring him to Me.” I felt almost offended, or scolded by Jesus, and had to remember He is teaching His disciples His ways and in order to get the message across clearly, a bit of shock and 'wow' factor could not hurt. He knew that any tiny bit of doubt among the believers would allow the evil spirit to attack and prevent them from being successful at casting it out of the boy.  We know from our own experiences that when things go downhill there is often a spiraling effect where we are faced with many trials all at once almost disabling our ability to focus.........we had doubt and opened the window for Satan to step in! We need to remain faithful to Him and His teachings at all times, not just when it's convenient and after 2000+ years we still fail at this very concept! Jesus has the patience of a saint, and He still takes the time to give us wake up calls, hoping we seek and trust Him before its too late.

The reason I became so confused and mortified was because of the way Mark quotes Jesus, sounding almost like He was boasting and annoyed that the disciples were wasting His time and still not comprehending that faithfulness is the key to healing anyone. My Jesus is love and caring, respectful, honorable, and full of knowledge, not arrogant and bothered by questions.....so I felt as if my gut reaction towards Jesus' words was an act of unfaithfulness and sin, 
hence being mortified of my own thoughts :-(! But, I thought maybe it was written that way because it was Mark's interpretation, and maybe he was jealous that Jesus could perform the miracles and they couldn't! It's all just speculation but it proves that two or two thousand can witness history unfolding together and none will give the same exact recollection! *(for Caroline) This is why discussing the Bible with others is such an enlightening experience and the only way to truly learn and grow in your faith.

The last point I wanted to make centers around the Fathers statement to Jesus starting out with "But if You can do anything,", really? If? Wow, how very doubtful and unsure he was in Jesus' powers.  Did he truly know who he was addressing?  I myself can not imagine starting out a request or plea to Jesus with the words "but if You", since He can do all, a more appropriate question would be "will You heal my son for me?" I absolutely loved Jesus' response and it is conveniently our verse #14, “If  you can believe,  all things  are  possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23 NKJV) Take that, slam dunk in your face you 'doubting Thomas'!! Jesus's reply was not just a wee bit sarcastic (love that since I can be to) it also, very bluntly, pointed out that if your beliefs contain any inherent doubts it could impede the possibilities and therefor have  undesirable results. When you look up 'believe' and read the antonyms this is what you will find: distrust, doubt, misdoubt, mistrust,question, suspect; challenge, dispute. Is this how you think that father regarded Jesus, with distrust and dispute? 

We need to always remember that when we allow doubt to interfere with our faith and belief system we are proclaiming disloyalty towards our creator and maker of the universe.  Can you honestly accept the consequences of that doubt?   The door is then opened for evil, deceptive, untrustworthy, and misguided entities, people or events to enter your life, body, mind and soul! Are you willing to chance it, or are you going to stand firm in your faith, proclaim your beliefs to all, gather sheep while planting seeds (especially in our youth) and praising in celebration for our Savior Jesus Christ? 

My fellow Alien readers, whom I love, where do you fall short in your faith and beliefs?  What are your strengths and gifts from above that can be utilized to spread the Word of God and the promise that was made for all who ask for forgiveness of sin? How do you praise Him for all He as provided?  Please everyone, say a prayer for all readers, when you reach the end of each blog post and be amazed of the power of prayer, especially in numbers.......keep believing our day will come!

A couple of favorite verses for today: 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. ~ Phil 4:13

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.~ Psalm 118:24

36 Verses to Healing #13

36 Verses to Healing #13: Matthew 8: 7, 13, 17 NKJV

Jesus Heals a Centurion's Servant

5 Now when Jesus had entered Capernaum, a  centurion came to Him, pleading with Him,  6 saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, dreadfully tormented.” 7 And Jesus said to him,  “I will come and heal him.” 8 The centurion answered and said, “Lord,  I am not worthy that You should come under my roof. But only  speak a word, and my servant will be healed.  9 For I also am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this  one,  ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does  it. ” 10 When Jesus heard  it,  He marveled, and said to those who followed,  “Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!   11 And I say to you that  many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.    12 But  the sons of the kingdom  will be cast out into outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”    13 Then Jesus said to the centurion,  “Go your way; and as you have believed,  so  let it be done for you.”  And his servant was healed that same hour. 

Peter's Mother-in-law Healed

14 Now when Jesus had come into Peter’s house, He saw  his wife’s mother lying sick with a fever.  15 So He touched her hand, and the fever left her. And she arose and served them. 

Many Healed in the Evening

16 When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick,  17 that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying: 

“ He Himself took our infirmities And bore our sicknesses."

These stories illustrate Jesus' ability to heal anyone, anytime and in any way He chooses to do so. It did not matter whether you were a servant, an older woman, a beggar, a centurion (leader), rich, poor, man, woman, young, old, etc... Jesus did not discriminate then nor does He now, all you need to do is ask and have faith! 

The most interesting line for me is #17, “ He Himself took our infirmities And bore our sicknesses."  Jesus himself has reached out to anyone and everyone who calls on Him through belief of His powers and doesn't just heal but He takes on the infirmities and sickness upon Himself!  Could you just imagine what all that might feel like?  I know for a fact that when I do long distance healing (and by 'do' I mean, be used purely as a vessel of the Lords enormous power and assist Him in performing healing; and only when I feel I am being called to do so for an individual) or laying of hands, I feel extreme warmth, intense peace and relaxation and then weakness/tired/drained and or pain.....which is why I cleanse myself after in order to not take on what I have tried to focus on for healing! Jesus was doing this for many who were "demon possessed", and healed ALL who were sick, not just one or two or a handful but ALL.....I just can not fathom what that took out of Him, how He handled the crowds and grabbing, yelling, calling out to Him all the while accepting that role so humbly 
and never turning His back on a faithful child of God. That in and of itself is amazing and miraculous.

On Ash Wednesday I attended Bible study in which we are discussing 24 hours that changed the world, and the opening prayer (psalm 25) that we read together completely satiated me as if I had just had a huge meal, then it clenched/took hold of my heart actually forcing it to pause! I honestly have never had that happen to me just from reading a prayer, and I knew that I had to share it with all of you, my fellow alien readers, because it is asking for what we have been discussing in the last 13 blogs! I pray that it touches your soul the way it did mine, and offers a sense of peace within you as the weight of your troubles and distress are lifted and carried away by the One we call Jesus Christ, Amen! 

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust;
    do not let me be put to shame;
    do not let my enemies exult over me....
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart,
    and bring me out of my distress.
Consider my affliction and my trouble,
    and forgive all of my sins.

~ Psalm 25:1-2, 16-18

36 Verses to Healing #12

36 Verses to Healing #12: Psalms 42:10,11 (NKJV)

10 As with a breaking of my bones, My enemies reproach me, While they say to me all day long, “Where  is  your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. 

Psalms 42:10, 11 (CEV)

10 Even my bones are in pain, while all day long my enemies sneer and ask, “Where is your God?”    11 Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you, Lord! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God. 

For those readers that have copied down the 36 verses ahead of my blog posts, I have added #10, the verse previous to the one listed, to assist us in the understanding of verse #11.  I often read the whole chapter for our verse before I write my blog post just to give me an additional understanding as to where we are in the Bible and what we are discussing.........I assumed we all had access to a Bible, and I probably should never do that, so to assist us all I will include any verses that helped me write the blog so that we are all, literally, on the same page!

I must say the first line sure sums up my life lately, "as with a breaking of my bones".....pretty graphic, and catches the reader's attention as to the severe distress one believer is experiencing and then the reaction of others, non believers, to that awful distress questioning where his God is while he suffers without assistance.  We all experience varies situations in life where those who do not get or understand what faith is (evil doers) question you (righteous one) at the most difficult times, trying to prove to you that God must not exist, you believe yet here you are hurting in anguish and without His hands to help you!  Satan comes in many forms, just as Jesus or God.....vessels can be used for good or evil, all depends which voice we choose to listen to in life and follow no matter what we are facing.  Faith isn't faith when things are going your way, faith is trusting that God is in control and leading you even when life hands you nothing but lemons. You don't throw your faith out the window just because you are in pain, not getting what you want in life, or grieving the loss of a loved one! Instead, you affirm that in everything that drops on your path has with it a promise from above that you will never be alone and will reach life eternal just by believing in Him.  

Questions, we all ask them every day, we as humans will always thirst for answers as to why something had to happen or not work out.  Where do you search for answers?  Do you open your bible and read favorite passages, do you log on and google things, or do you trust your God and give it all to Him?  We know what we should do but we are not always good at remembering that letting go and letting God lead and show us over the obstacle and to the other  side is what real faith is! 

When we finally realize that what we are doing is not working, that we are not getting the results we hoped for or even when we become desperate because we have lost complete control over everything in life, we turn to Him, and through all that He didn't turn away or leave your side, He waited for you to believe in Him to handle and fix all the wrongs.  Our response should be praise, through song, prayer, preaching, and writings we can express our faith and thank the One responsible  for helping us surpass all the obstacles on our path of life. 

Living a life with illness and chronic pain has strengthened my faith and spirituality beyond my own comprehension at times.  I chose to lead this journey to health because I was called to do so......I never know the verse before its typed at the top of the page, I do not prepare any thoughts ahead of time, I meditate and pray as I write on what verse I am reading!  I ask for His words to shine through, to use me as a vessel of His amazing and miraculous ways, and to guide my readers along their journey while reading His teachings. If you asked me 7 years ago if I would be writing a blog about verses in the Bible, I probably would have asked if you were feeling okay.  I believed in God but I did not live with belief in my God.  I was career oriented, dedicating time and energy helping others that were less fortunate but I certainly was not approaching any of it with God in mind or in my heart, I was just doing my job. I now realize the difference between just believing in God while living and living with belief in my God!  May not appear so different at first but once you start applying it in everyday life the two statements are worlds apart.  Which way do you choose to live?  Is God your only priority when tackling all life throws at you, or are you letting Him simmer while your life boils over out of control?  Your health is in your hands, heart and soul, be functional through God and not dysfunctional without Him!